Dying for beauty every day

I died for Beauty - but was scarce
Adjusted in the Tomb
When One who died for Truth, was lain
In an adjoining room -

He questioned softly "Why I failed?"
"For beauty," I replied -
"And I - for Truth - Themself are One -
We Brethren, are," He said -

And so, as Kinsmen, met a Night -
We talked between the Rooms -
Until the Moss reached our lips -
And covered up - our names -

--Emily Dickinson

When I used to teach this poem, the students would often ask "Why died for truth or beauty? Why failed?" I told them they had a whole lifetime to find answers to those questions. And life does reveal answers. Like today, when I tried to live for truth and found myself living for beauty instead.

I have tried to balance truth and beauty in my aesthetic, both in reading and in writing. I am blown away by great writing, in poetry or prose, and I admire a well-constructed essay. As John Keats pointed out, beauty is truth, truth beauty. Much of my effort outside the house here in Kelowna has been to work with the local arts council in whatever way I could, helping to promote concerts (even of music I don't particularly appreciate) and just talking to people about the arts community. I make no pretensions about beauty in my own writing -- on the continuum, I am most often closer to living for truth.

Notice, I said living, not dying.

But there are aspects of life here that remind me of other dimensions of the subject. I went into the BC Fruits outlet today to get apples and oranges, and I came away with cherries and apricots and plums and local chocolate with sour cherries as well. The fabled Okanagan heat has finally appeared, and I had left Catherine sitting in the car because it takes an extra effort to manipulate the knee scooter out of the trunk and get it back.The fruit depot maintains a constant temperature all year, something like Carlsbad Caverns or other underground caves, so I was in no hurry to leave the building. When I came back to the car, Catherine made a passing remark about how she had been without her cell phone or her Kindle or her glasses, but she let me know how grateful she had been just sitting there, impressed by the beauty of Knox mountain a couple of blocks away and billowy clouds dominating the sky.

I don't know if we will ever get used to the beauty of this area. It seems endless, the dry heat, the big sky, the changing cloud formations over mountains in all directions.

As they say, it is to die for.